Never Give Haruka a Frying Pan
by Pennyroyal Tea Bird
Summary: Yes, you're wondering about the title. Riight, so think this: Setsuna jailed, Haruka has an indentity crisis, and no breakfast for a week! R and R!
1. Identity Crisis

Never Give Haruka a Frying Pan  
  
By: Pennyroyal Tea Bird  
  
Chapter 1 ______________________________________________________________________________  
  
A girl with elegant aqua-marine hair clutched her soul mate's hand, strolling along the sky-lit roads of Tokyo. The girl's soul mate was a charming blonde goddess that rose from the reflecting warm sky. As the day soon broke into night, the two lovers looked deeply into each other's eyes, putting out the stars with the breath from their pale faces.  
  
"I never want this night to end." sighed Michiru  
  
"Neither do I, Michi-koi." Haruka replied kissing her forehead, and hugging her gently.  
  
Haruka reached into her left coat pocket and took out a glossy silver locket with their initials engraved in it. Michiru's eyes glimmered as Haruka reached over her neck and under her soft hair to clasp the necklace on.   
  
"It's…beautiful." Michiru's words flowed quietly out through her velvet lips.  
  
"it's a symbol of my love for you." Haruka smiled.   
  
Unexpectedly, rain began to douse the streets, and the two headed home. When Haruka and Michiru walked inside their Tokyo home, they were startled by a dark flash, and standing in the doorway was an obscure shadow. Haruka cautioned Michiru to stand back. The shadow approached closer, and closer, and closer, breathing lightly.   
  
While standing in the kitchen, Haruka grasped the first thing she could picture, while it was still dark. - A frying pan. With the shadow looming closer, Haruka took a lunge, and tried to whack the figure with the frying pan, but missed. Instead, Michiru flicked the lights on, and out came a cheery, red-haired Chibi-Chibi. Haruka screamed in surprise, and accidentally dropped the frying pan on her own head. Chibi-Chibi childishly giggled at Haruka.   
  
"Haruka?" Michiru tried to wake her up. "Haruka can you hear me? WAKE UP!"  
  
Haruka's eyes opened slowly. "Huh? Wha? Where am I?"   
  
"Where am I?! Where am I?! Teehee." Chibi-Chibi jumped and giggled.  
  
"Oh great…" Michiru said sweat dropping. "You're home, Ruka!"  
  
Setsuna and came down the stairs.  
  
"Huh? What's going on you guys?" Setsuna said yawning. "It's 1:00 in the morning!"  
  
"Haruka….Chibi-Chibi…..erm…frying pan…..uhhhmm…" Michiru was obviously at a loss for words.  
  
"Yes, that really helps me….." Setsuna said sarcastically, and folded her arms.  
  
"Look, I'll tell you later; just help me bring Haruka on the sofa." Michiru ordered.  
  
"Alright." Setsuna agreed.  
  
"Who's that?" Haruka said perplexed.  
  
"That's Setsuna, and I'm Michiru. You remember who you are, right?" Michiru asked.  
  
"Of course!" Haruka said confidently.  
  
Michiru and Setsuna sighed with relief.  
  
"I am Sailor Venus! Defender of all that is truth and love!" Haruka smiled.  
  
"WHAT?" Michiru and Setsuna blinked.  
  
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Yes, that's all for now. Stay tuned for the next chapter! Je ne!   
  
-Pennyroyal Tea Bird 


	2. Tokyo Star Jailbird

Never Give Haruka a Frying Pan  
  
By: Pennyroyal Tea Bird  
  
Chapter 2   
  
PLEASE READ: Okay, you know the deal. Of course I don't own these characters! But no one said I couldn't be a voodooist and set them in hilarious plots! XD Oh yeah, Setsuna is very OOC. Hell, maybe everyone here is. Nonetheless, it makes it funnier, I think! R&R!  
  
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"Well, at least now I know why Haruka never makes us breakfast." Setsuna looked over at Michiru with a mischievous grin. "She's lethal with kitchen utensils! Hahaha."  
  
"I suppose she is…erm. Why in the world was Chibi-Chibi doing up so late anyways?" Michiru replied with concern.  
  
"Heh, well, we had a little slumber party while you were out with Haruka, you know, to keep the kids entertained. I guess Chibi-Chibi was still excited from all the pizza and ice cream and…." Setsuna rambled on.  
  
"ICECREAM?! PIZZA?! Ugh, no wonder she's up Setsuna! Hmph, you're getting denser than Usagi-chan! I'd expect a lot more integrity from a woman of your age!" Michiru snapped.   
  
"ME? You're the one who stays out all night long while I sit here worried!" Setsuna replied.  
  
"No, no, no. Don't fight! We should talk this out! Love conquers all, remember!? Remember!?" Haruka said in Minako-voice.  
  
"Stay out of this, you kitchen utensil hitting baka-chan!" Michiru yelled unintentionally .  
  
While Setsuna and Michiru continued to fight, Chibi-Chibi childishly ran over to Haruka with her red little heart-odangos wiggling through the air. She took Haruka's hand and insisted that Haruka should come outside to play with her. Haruka smiled, and without Setsuna or Michiru noticing, Haruka followed Chibi-Chibi outside.  
  
"Chibi-Chibi?" Chibi-Chibi said perplexed.  
  
"I have no clue what they're fighting about." Haruka sighed as she got comfortable and rested on a grassy hill in the backyard. "Do you know?"  
  
"Chibi?" Chibi-Chibi muttered and danced around her.  
  
"Heh, I guess not." Haruka laughed softly. "Hey, why don't we go shopping! Would you like to be my shopping-buddy, Chibi-Chibi?"  
  
"Chibi!" Chibi-Chibi shouted with glee.  
  
"Well, the mall isn't too far from here…" Haruka decided, looking over at the streetlights loud cars and wide buildings. "Let's go!"  
  
Haruka held Chibi-Chibi in her arms and started to head off for the mall. Setsuna and Michiru kept rambling on about the odd situation, and didn't notice at all where the two senseless travelers went off to. Suddenly, Michiru glanced over and finally became aware of their disappearance.   
  
"Haruka's gone!" Michiru said.  
  
"Chibi-Chibi, too!" Setsuna replied.   
  
"This is all your fault, you old coot!" Michiru yelled unexpectedly.  
  
"Old…..coot?" Setsuna said confusingly. "Hmph! I'm not that old!  
  
"YEAH RIGHT! Because of you, Chibi-Chibi woke up from eating junk food and scarred my Haruka half-to-death!" Michiru complained. "Ugh…."  
  
"That's it!" Setsuna said. "I'm sick of your yelling and blaming!"  
  
"Fine! Leave!" Michiru said angrily.  
  
"Fine!" Setsuna said and slammed the door, and began to take a long walk.   
  
Meanwhile, Haruka and Chibi-Chibi were having the time of their lives. They stopped in the nearest store, and their eye's became wide with joy. They saw tons of sales!   
  
"Look at this pretty T-shirt, Chibi-Chibi! If I get one for both of them, maybe they'll become so overwhelmingly happy, they'll forget all about that stupid fight." Haruka said optimistically.   
  
Chibi-Chibi smiled and giggled in agreement as Haruka held up a shirt that read "Tokyo Star" in gold glitter.   
  
Haruka placed her hand in her right jean pocket and moped. "Hm…no money."   
  
"Chibi?" Chibi-Chibi looked sad.   
  
"But they'd stop arguing, wouldn't they!?" Haruka bit her lip. "I don't want them to keep fighting over nothing!   
  
Haruka went into the dressing room and changed T-shirts, putting on two "Tokyo Star" ones, and teared the store tags off so hopefully she wouldn't get caught. She walked out of the store slowly, knowing she stole something for the happiness of two friends.   
  
"I know I did the wrong thing…." Haruka said sadly. "But for the right reason. Love!"  
  
Setsuna kept walking in a miserable mood. Haruka kept thinking about what she did and was so occupied by her own thoughts she didn't realize she bumped right into Setsuna.   
  
"Hey watch it, lady!" Haruka looked up. "Setsuna?"  
  
"HARUKA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE!?" Setsuna cried.  
  
"No, Minako! MINAKO!!!" Haruka emphasized her name to Setsuna.  
  
"Whatever." Setsuna said in fury and began to walk off.  
  
"Wait! Wait, Suna-chan!" Haruka yelled.  
  
"What is it?" Setsuna turned around.  
  
Haruka began to take off one shirt.  
  
"Uh…." Setsuna babbled. "What are you doing!?"  
  
"Here, it's a shirt I erm…bought for you, to make you forget the fight." Haruka lied.  
  
"Erm…thanks?" Setsuna said confusingly and put the 'Tokyo Star' shirt over the one she already had on. "It's nice…"   
  
"Your welcome!" Haruka smiled. "Aren't you coming home now?"  
  
"NO WAY! Michiru's still acting totally childish. I don't know what's gotten into her. " Setsuna explained.   
  
"Okay…" Haruka walked off with Chibi-Chibi in arms. "Hm….bye."  
  
It wasn't soon after until Haruka bumped into someone else. A very cute boy! The boy made a charming smile at her and Haruka felt all school-girl-in-love-ish. She made a quick smile back Setsuna trotted off in one direction and Haruka then went the other way. -Home. Setsuna felt a little mad at herself for yelling at Michiru. It was pointless, Setsuna thought, really dumb. A few miles ahead Setsuna could hear a woman in a lavender dress running down the sidewalk in high heels. The woman was shouting something but Setsuna couldn't really hear. The woman came closer.   
  
"Thief! Thief!" Once the woman came closer, she appeared to be a business woman.  
  
"Thief?" Setsuna said.  
  
"You! Give me that shirt, you criminal!" The lady said.  
  
"What?! Criminal?" Setsuna replied. "What are you taking about? I'm no criminal!"  
  
"Yes, you are! You store that shirt! You're goin' to jail sista!"   
  
"HUH?" Setsuna screeched.   
  
  
  
Haruka made her way home with Chibi-Chibi still cradled in her arms. Haruka opened the door and saw Michiru sitting on the living room couch nervously flipping though television channels.   
  
  
  
"Michiru? I uh…bought you something." Haruka lied once again.  
  
Michiru didn't even bother to turn around, she just sat there and continued to flip though channels, cursing under her breath now and then. In the meantime, Setsuna was being chased by the frantic woman. Setsuna ran and ran, which is something she wouldn't normally do, but the woman was so panicky, she didn't think of what she was doing.   
  
Setsuna decided the only place to go was, home, and then IT HAPPENED.   
  
  
  
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Fascinating, no? Stay tuned for the next chapter! I must admit, Setsuna seemed a little drunk, don't you think?! XD Je ne!   
  
-Pennyroyal Tea Bird 


End file.
